whines
jzebel
sulks
rants
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from the boy who loves the girl
with all his heart
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
another day another grumble
i did a rather mean thing today. or at least i think its pretty mean. kinda like evil but yet i dont feel its entirely wrong. i guess this is what u get from accumalated bottled up feelings of being unappreciated and somewhat cast aside with neglect. i kinda feel guilty for wad i did, but at the same time i dont feel it was wrong. i kinda feel gleeful for standing up, doing what i really felt deep within but still guilty and mean. and i tot i could be a wholesome creature. o wells. mayb the problem lies in me, mayb its the vibe i give off. but still. i dont think overcoming the barrier within myself would be easy. like how do u smile, when theres nothin to smile about, how do you maintain cheery when ur feelings are not considered. and as long as i bottle it all up one day it will just spill. and when i set my mind to stop caring(which most of the time doesnt work) mayb one day i will just stop and realise the grp of who i think is lovely to be ard is not worth my time and worth it for me to try. i am quite difficult to be around.
rahhhh
9:02 PM
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
o gollyyyyyy. 15 more days to go!
knowin how the boyfriend kinda gets weird gifts, i pondered upon telling him what i want, or expect to receive.
ok fine, i have decided i wont, would be better if he surprises me pleasantly.
we shall seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hur hur hur.
BUT I STILL CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT I GET FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY EVERYTIME I SEE A MAKE-A-BEAR WORKSHOP, BECAUSE
SOMEONE
THOUGHT IT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE AND A WASTE OF MONEY.
stomps my feet violently. like how i pound my feet on the mattress at night when im frustrated bout well, many things.
not even married mind you.
rahhhh
11:40 PM
Monday, October 06, 2008
i find shopping fun.
i need a beige vest, NOW.
my obsession with grey clothing and white tanks is increasing by the day.
im seriously considering tailor-making my skirts.
i have this thing for altering clothing nowadays by sewing on buttons.
the wardrobe is expanding.
i have tons of new clothes that are unwashed and stashed in the i hope nobody finds out corner of my cupboard.
i have clothes i hung and i dont wear em at all.
the two baskets beside the door is filled with clothes that are yet to be hung.
theres a pile of bottoms on the chair beside my bookshelf.
the basket of belts are lying beside my bed in a mess.
i have a clothes hanger filled with clothes that are just washed in the "clothes-room".
one day i think i can bury myself in them or spread them on my bed and roll in em.
a pity it isnt money, but hey it was bought by money so i guess thats a tad comforting.
rahhhh
12:03 AM
Thursday, October 02, 2008
essay deadline
It's the quiet night that breaks me
I cannot stand the sight of this familiar place
It's the quiet night that breaks me
like a dozen papercuts that only I can trace
All my books are lying useless now
All my maps will only show me how to lose my way
Oh call my name
You know my name
And in that sound, everything will change
Tell me it won't always be this hard
I am nothing without you
but I don't know who you are
rahhhh
10:09 PM
jzebel
beh
22111988
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